MCFly 14 – Xmas marks the spot

An elf, made redundant by “Santa’s Workshop Solutions plc” just days before Christmas, has leaked highly sensitive information to Manchester Climate Fortnightly. The elf, whom we cannot name for reality reasons, reports sweated labour, melting factory floors and famished polar bears eating tardy staff. The elf’s information that has into our lap landed is pure dynamite- namely a list of requests made to Santa by various climate campaign groups in Manchester…

Those flash Harrys and Harriets of Stop Expansion at Manchester Airport have two wishes- “a fully integrated, subsidised transport system for Europe which would make sustainable travelling a financially viable option for everyone in Europe and the world. We would also like a campaign strategist to burst through the ceiling like Batman – and help us develop a more comprehensive strategy.”

Meanwhile, the 100 Months Club, a “treetops” lobby group, wants the fat man to “bring us the sort of practically radical vision on low carbon action for Greater Mcr that could unite AGMA, the private and third sectors – a vision to quickly stamp down our carbon footprint, boost green collar jobs and have social justice at its heart. That’s all.” Similarly, SERA, the Labour environmental campaign wants “Manchester Climate Change Agency/Foundation to encourage, fund and publicise carbon reduction initiatives from the community … making a difference before 2009 is out.”

A Green Party (www.manchestergreenparty.org.uk) email the elf leaked to MCFly reads “Dear Santa, please can I have for Christmas a ban on advertising cars as lifestyle accessories? You know, those adverts that imply that you’re only a good “family man/woman” if you have an internal combustion attached to 4 wheels. Please ban these adverts, with bells on.”

Chris Shearlock, Sustainable Development Manager of the Co-operative Group wants “more time as this is what we are running out of. The ‘Global Deal’, to be agreed in Copenhagen in 2009 really is the last throw of the dice…”

Always and rightly ‘demanding the impossible,’ Manchester Climate Action, want “a free convenient place to have meetings, not too noisy, central location. Really good, affordable and joined up public transport for Manchester. An end to airport expansion, open-cast coal mines, and coal-fired power stations in the UK.” Embarrassingly, MCFly itself has been caught writing letters to mythical wish-fulfilment figures (and we don’t mean Barack Obama) “More people to help put it together, to help distribute it, but most of all, more cool action(s) by everyone that we can then report on.”

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